Mistakes in the Slushpile: Filter Verbs

I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Unreliable Narrators for a podcast. They asked some in depth questions: what’s a typical day in the life of a literary agent, advice for writers, book recommendations etc. so be sure to check it out to hear my answers.

One of the questions I continued to think about the next day. They were curious to know what is the most common mistake I see in the slushpile. This is difficult to answer as the slushpile is constantly morphing and changing, and I didn’t want to give the usual answer that writers hear all the time like:

  • query is misaddressed or agent’s name is misspelled
  • it’s the wrong genre for that particular agent
  • spelling/grammar errors in query
  • prologue or slow opening line
  • word count is too high or too low

(These are incredibly common.)

What I settled on was the overall truth that… most writers query too soon. They submit their work before it has been fully polished. And a major aspect of that polish is getting rid of the words that cause distance between the narrator and the reader, also known as filter language.

Filter language is typically those pesky overused verbs that inexperienced writers use to inform the reader what the protagonist is experiencing, i.e. “I saw” or “he felt” or “she knew” (hear, think, hope, touch, realize, wonder, look, seem etc.). These verbs are largely unnecessary as we the reader are experiencing the story through the eyes of the character, thus we don’t need to be told the character is seeing something, we should simply see it, e.g. “She saw his dark cape swoosh.” vs “His dark cape swooshed.” A fully polished manuscript will have eliminated many if not all of these filters, bringing the reader closer to the story thus strengthening the odds it will catch their interest. As the most important aspect in a submission is catching the attention of the agent (just as the final product must catch the attention of the potential reader) you can imagine just how important the removal of filter verbs is.

For those of you scrambling to hit search all in your document right now, I say great, but take a moment to consider perhaps this manuscript that you wrote full of filter verbs isn’t the one. When I said writers submit their work too soon, I meant they as a creative entity, not just that single manuscript. You are an apprentice, your first completed novel gets you into the mail room at the bottom floor. Don’t set such high expectations of yourself that you will be the CEO in a year. This will only serve to discourage, as you will be faced with certain rejection and disappointment. Keep growing, evolving, studying, and learning your craft. So when you read a post like this you won’t be scrambling, rather nodding along (hopefully not too smugly). At that point, you are likely ready to submit. And I will be ready to read when you are.

Write on.

Mary C. MooreJanuary 25, 2017

 

The San Francisco Writers Conference (SFWC) is hosting an auction with proceeds benefitting both the San Francisco Writers Foundation and the social justice organization EveryLibrary. There are some wonderful items up for grabs including a full manuscript critique by Fuse literary agent Tricia Skinner and and the first 25-50 pages critique by my KC&A colleague Amy Cloughley.

 

I’ve donated a query letter and first 10 pages critique. Literary agents often ask for your first 10 pages when you submit your query. This is why the beginning of your novel is so important. Get in-depth and personalized feedback on your query and first 10 pages if you win this item. It’s already gotten 38 bids! There’s still 24 hours left to bid and donate to this wonderful cause. Visit the SFWC auction page for more information.

Click to bid here.

Comparable Titles: Why Literary Agents Want Them

Comparable titles, agents love ’em, writers hate ’em.

They are a required part of my submission form, so I’ve seen the gambit of writers attempting to get out of answering the question. Multiple “n/a,” several “I don’t know,” and more than I care to count of “my manuscript has no comparable.” Even had annoyed emails asking why agents ask writers to jump through so many hoops.

There is a staggering amount of advice on how to query agents online, including how to choose your comparable titles. Search “comparable titles query” and multiple posts by successful writers and legitimate agents pop up.

Rather than regurgitate this easily accessible information, I’ll focus on what comps mean to me when considering a submission.

Whittling down submissions is like any other job application process, first the applicant has to meet the bottom line. I developed my submission form to ensure those that queried me already fit the mold of clients I’m looking for. It’s not a perfect system, but it works for the most part. I do have the occasional chuckle at some of the gaffes I’ve seen especially, as mentioned above, with the answers to the comparable titles section. Don’t worry though, there is only one answer to this section that will actually get you an auto-reject. To win this distinction you have to be an author who claims there is no comparable to your book, i.e. your manuscript is totally unique.

Not only is this not true, it’s incredibly egotistical on the part of the author, and that kind of ego is not one I want to work with. Close behind these “one of a kind” types are writers who say they are the next big franchise series, e.g. “My book is the next Harry Potter.” Perhaps it’s not their ego, but they might have the expectation that they will make the kind of money JK Rowlings does. And their agent will be expected to fulfill this dream or die trying under a mountain of anxious and demanding emails.

Answers such as “n/a” or “I don’t know” may not win you any points, but I won’t toss your sub. I will assume however that you are either lazy (not a great first impression) or unknowledgeable about the publishing industry (which makes me wary as I’m looking for long-term clients i.e. understand the time it takes to get published and the professional demands of being an author).

Moving on to authors who actually come up with comp book titles. First, thank you for trying. It is appreciated.

Those of you who use my clients’ work as comps. Clever idea, however be aware that I know these works more intimately than almost anything else on the shelves. I’ve helped edit, revise, flesh out characters, even out pacing, catch plot holes, develop marketing copy, title it and so on and so on. If you’re using one of them as a comp, be damn sure you’ve read it and your manuscript really does compare. Because I sure as hell will. . . and kudos for having the cajones. 

Then there’s the chart-toppers like Divergent and Game of Thrones. These are over-used, and will not give your sub any distinction. I guarantee the past five fantasy submissions used GoT as a comp, so I’ll just glaze over these. Or there’s the old, even out-dated comps like Wicked or The Hobbit. I don’t mind these as much as many agents seem to, it at least shows me the author knows vaguely who their target audience is. What prevents old comps from adding to your submission package is that the odds that I know the editor are slim, and the imprint that first published these books may not be publishing similar books currently or may even be defunct.

Because that’s really why agents want to see comparable titles. If they are good, nay great, comps, then they will give us an instant idea of who and where to send it to. Recent books like The Star-Touched Queen and Certain Dark Things have both been mentioned or reviewed by me online. I know the editors of these books and I know the imprints that published them. If your book is comparable, then you have honed in on the right agent.

Mexico City vampires! Can’t wait to read this. #bookstagram #diadelosmuertos 💀💀💀

A photo posted by Mary C. Moore (@marycmoore) on


Not that I’m expecting you to stalk my social media or have perfect knowledge of what I’ve read recently. But if you write in the genre I represent and you choose comps that are moderately successful titles from the past year or two in that genre, chances are I’ve read them or at least heard of them and so know who published them. (If not, that’s on me.)

In closing, if you use recently published successful books as comps, they can really make your submission stand out of the pile. But if you don’t manage that, it’s okay. I’ll still consider your submission.

Cover Reveal: Second Admiral Novel in the Evagardian Series

Check out the awesome cover for FREE SPACE, the second installment of the Evagardian series by Sean Danker! To be released spring of 2017.

In the follow-up to Admiral, the intergalactic war has ended and hostilities between the Evagardian Empire and the Commonwealth are officially over, but the admiral is far from safe. . . .

I’d impersonated a prince, temporarily stopped a war, escaped a deadly planet, and survived more assassination attempts than I could conveniently count. After all that, there shouldn’t have been anything simpler than a nice weekend with a charming Evagardian girl.

However, some corners of the galaxy aren’t as genteel as the Empire, and Evagardians aren’t universally loved, which is how I ended up kidnapped to be traded as a commodity.

Their timing couldn t have been worse. I’m not at my best, but these people have no idea whom they’re dealing with: a highly trained, genetically engineered soldier in the Imperial Service who happens to be my date.

Why Your Full Is Taking So Long: Confessions of a Literary Agent

Back in my own submitting days there was nothing quite so agonizing yet exciting about the wait while a literary agent considered my full manuscript. And wait I did, for one in particular. Wait. wait. wait. Until finally, I nervously nudged, it had been six months and everyone said it was okay to nudge, so it was okay right? A few days later there it was, the response. Breathless, heart fluttering, I opened the email and…

…form rejection.

Now on the other side of that desk, I have tried hard to be gentle with authors. Queries not for me are form-rejected as quickly as possible and rejections to a full manuscript are personalized to the best of my ability (it’s a difficult balance, because I don’t want to steer the author in the wrong direction editorially and sometimes reasons for passing are simply subjective). But for all my good intentions, the slushpile is a mean mothaf*cker and right now it’s winning. The average amount of submissions I get per day hovers around 15 and is not showing any signs of slowing. My patience and empathy are waning with each badly written query, obviously in the wrong genre submission, or snarky response to my form letter. And I’m slipping into that dreaded hole, the one where I hang onto manuscripts for far too long. I’ve tried requesting less, but there’s that feeling of “if I read just a bit more, I’ll know if I want it or not.”

The reality is, I’ve always got my hands full with client work, and my clients come first. I’m busy editing and shopping their manuscripts, and until I sell another one, I’m hesitant to take on anyone new. I’ve also always got a few potentials that I’ll have been working with over the last year or so and have yet to sign, but all indications point to I probably will. BUT I also don’t want to let go of that small, but ever-growing pile of manuscripts in my inbox. I know there’s a gem in there, I can feel it. But it wouldn’t be possible to sign all of them. So sometimes I’ll go into one, thinking I’ll come up with a reason to pass, but then I find myself 50 pages in, mentally editing it, and have to put it down because I don’t have the time right now to edit a full manuscript that isn’t one of my client’s and besides I’ve already got five or six R&Rs floating out there. I know it would be kinder to simply pass with a form rejection early, rather then sit on them for months at a time, but then I remember the heartbreak I went through and I can’t bring myself to do it. So these fulls languish there, and their authors patiently wait, and wait, and wait…

…at least I hope I can do better for them than a form rejection. But there’s definitely a guilty little gremlin voice in my head who whispers, “you now understand those other agents’ point of view and wish you could just do the same.”

The slushpile is turning me into a mean mothaf*cker.

I hope this confession inspires those of you waiting on a submission response to move forward. Write your next story, and keep pitching your current project in any way you can. Don’t pin your hopes on an agent who has your full, because it could be a long wait.

And maybe, just maybe, if said agent can pull her shit together or sell another book or two, she’ll come back to your manuscript that’s been there for the past 8 months and actually have the space in her head to fall in love with it.

Mary C. MooreSeptember 9, 2016

 

“Sorry to see you there, but if you’d fought like a man, you would not have been hang’d like a Dog.” – Anne Bonny

 

Lady pirates and a Latina protagonist! Read my dual interview with my client Isabel on #DVPit here.

And check out 9 Female Pirates You Should Know via Mental Floss.

Mary C. MooreSeptember 7, 2016

 

 

Sign up for Writer’s Digest’s Agent One-on-One: How to Craft Query Letters & Other Submission Materials That Get Noticed Boot Camp coming September 26th!

 

You will get 4 hours over the course of two days to ask any and all questions to the literary agents of Kimberley Cameron & Associates (including me!). Once you’ve asked all the questions, you will craft a query letter and opening 10 pages of a submission, and a KC&A literary agent will critique it for you. A great way to polish your submission package. I’ve had two writers secure an agent after taking this boot camp, so I like to think it’s useful.

 

Hope to e-meet you there!

 

Titling Your Manuscript For Submission: An Agent Weighs In

Artwork by Marcus Connor at Brainless Tales

A quick Google search will bring up a host of useful articles with tips on how to title your novel. Rather than regurgitate the information already easily available, this post will dig into my own personal (and I like to think professional) point of view and focus on those books that are in the manuscript phase, i.e. soon to be out on submission or wallowing in the slushpile.

As I evolve and grow into my occupation, I am surprised by how much I am continually learning and changing. Writing rules that I believed were absolutes in my first year are now not as important to me as writers who have clear longterm career goals. Genres/writing styles that I once thought to be marketable fall behind as marketing trends point me in a different direction. And the amount of time I spend on each submission, has dramatically fallen. Before you get indignant, hear me out. I know, more than ever before, what type of client I’m looking for and what kinds of projects I want. Eighty-five percent of the time I can tell from the query alone that we are not a good match. The other fifteen? Those will eventually get a closer look. They will queue in my inbox (hopefully not too long), waiting for the day I can muster up a few hours to examine them. When that day comes, first I have to recall why the submission is sitting there. Perhaps the author’s website or bio impressed me. Maybe their opening pages caught my interest or their particular writing style intrigued me. But if I have difficulty pinning down why I kept it, odds are I will pass. If it didn’t stick with me after percolating awhile, then I move on to those that did.

One of the biggest aspects of a submission that will help it stick in my memory is the title. If I remember the title, most likely I’ll remember the query, the writing, and the reason I’ve kept it around. And I’m going to boldly make the conjecture that most agents and editors would agree with me.

Titles that tend not to stick are those that are hard to pronounce or have made-up words (here’s looking at you SFF writers!). Long titles will be a problem as well, unless it’s a catchy phrase. In general if people give you a “huh” expression when you tell them the name of your book, time to rethink it.

The takeaway from this? Your title shouldn’t be a half-fast decision nor a personal choice (most titles will change a few times through the publishing process anyway, so you don’t want to get attached), rather it should be considered another tool to market your book, a piece of the submission whole package. Research the craft of titling your book as carefully as you are researching the agents you choose to query (operating under the assumption that if you are reading this, you are researching literary agents) and hopefully you will come up with a title will make your submission stand out in the slush.

And, given my baby girl has let me sleep that night, I’ll remember your submission.